So I finally feel like I'm coming down off this emotional high. Which is not to say that I'm feeling low again. I came from a very wounded place, thinking I was the butt of the universe's cruel random joke, and flung myself into a state of elation, assuring myself I was a relevant brushstroke of a colossal impressive masterpiece.
This is always my pattern. Trying to figure out how to comprise my "dual" personalities. Such a freaking Gemini. I have lived frantically on the fence of my own life...which way do I go, which way do I go? It's a challenge to feel pressured to be one thing when you're truly two things. But the fact of the matter is I just want to be myself. I just want to tear the damn fence down. I want to play peacefully in the middle of my spectrum.
I think I'm just now getting the hang of this. The best word I can use to describe the way I feel today is "even." Balanced, like a scale. But because I am such word nerd, it's not lost on me that a definition of even is also "divisible by two." Hmmmm. Interesting. Let me sleep on this.
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